But these are just negative thoughts that result from a huge life change like a breakup. In truth, they will pass – and when the negativity goes, you stand a greater chance of reconnecting with your ex.
Ask yourself: were the good times enough?
A breakup is actually an excellent way to get some distance on your relationship. The good times might seem rosy to you right now, when your ex is gone, but were they really as good as they seemed?
Ask yourself the things you had in common with her. Did you share the same interests? The same values? If you loved being together all the time and your relationship was largely harmonious, you probably stand a good chance of getting back together.
However if you were constantly fighting and bickering, there might have been an underlying problem.
If there was a problem, address it
Did you feel valued in your relationship? Often, a lack of equal partnership, which is brought on by a lack of respect, is a cause of breakups. If she didnt respect you because you didnt assert your own needs enough, that might have been a leading cause for your breakup.
Its important for you to be assertive about your needs in a relationship. Especially when it comes to the thing to do to win her back after a breakup – because that thing, in truth, is being realistic about your relationship.
I know being realistic is tough when youre emotional and in pain from a breakup, but its very important before you go trying to get back together with her.
If you choose to pursue the relationship, write her a letter
The best way to get things back on good territory when youre figuring out the right thing to do to win her back after a breakup is to write her a letter. It needs to be a handwritten letter that you pen yourself.
Dont apologize or get too wishy-washy; just keep it simple. If you do apologize, simply say, Im sorry for acting crazy or out of control. Then, let her know youre okay and fine with the breakup, even if you dont feel this way.
A letter is actually very powerful even if it seems old-school to you. This is because in our high-paced society, a letter is out of the ordinary, and it will grab her attention.